Left Lane Louies

So, yesterday Pat and I went in to the city to see Curtains, a musical starring David Hyde Pierce. My review would be to say it was very good. Not excellent like Spamalot, but very good. Four stars out of five. But that isn't what this post is about. The final curtain came down at 4:30, and with a little tunnel traffic, we pulled into our driveway an hour and ten minutes later. We probably could have made it quicker if it weren't for all the Left Lane Louies on the road. These are the drivers who insist on staying in the left lane even though they have a line of cars behind them and no cars in front of them. They are simply oblivious to what is going on around them, even if they aren't talking on the phone. Traffic wasn't that heavy going or coming, but these drivers for some reason must find comfort knowing no cars are on their left. One car entered the Turnpike, stayed in the right lane for no more than five seconds then crossed the middle lane and settled into the left lane despite cars coming up behind him obviously going faster. Because of their refusal to move over they cause other drivers to pass on the right, weave in and out just to try to get ahead of them. This puts everyone on the road at risk for an accident. And when you pass them and look over at them it is really obvious that they are oblivious. They are driving like they are on a two lane country road. I just kept asking myself why all the way home. Someone please tell me why. So, if anybody who is reading this recognizes themselves as a Left Lane Louie, please comment and let me know WHY. I need to now to ease my frustration on the road. Now in the past I have been called Right Lane Ray by my children, but Pat will attest that yesterday was not the case and I had very little patience for these airheaded drivers. Rental trucks, pickups with a load in the back, and cars from out of state. No reason for them to be in the left lane. No reason at all. I was beside myself with frustration. Why, why, why???

Well, I guess I got that point across. One more thing. Coming down the Turnpike, as we passed Newark Airport, the incoming flight pattern was from the south so the planes were coming in right at us over the highway. At that point of the landing they have already throttled back and seem to be suspended in air on the final approach. And despite knowing about lift, aerodynamics, the drag coefficient and all the physics mumbo jumbo, I still maintain there is no way something as large and as heavy as that should be up in the air.

Thank god for Xanax.


A Late Thought

For a person who works the midnight shift (12 to 8), when we turn the clocks ahead, do they get paid for seven  hours or eight?


Mr. Klaven is a genius.

The Buffalo Theory

In one episode of Cheers, Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. The concept has never been explained any better than this.....

“Well, you see Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest animals in the herd. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest animals that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”



Yesterday Pat and I were driving along Route 520, going from Route 18 to Route 35. If you aren't familiar with that I am not sure it really matters. Well, maybe it does. Along 520 there is an entrance to Brookdale Community College. I hadn't been past it in a few years, having ridden my bike in the area many times in the past, so when we approached the entrance I was flabbergasted. Yes, flabbergasted. I don't get flabbergasted much, but this was an exceptional case. The entrance off of 520 had always had a traffic light. But as we approached the college entrance I thought I was in the wrong area, because there was no traffic light.

In New Jersey, noted at one time for its many circles, or roundabouts, or rotaries, this was a very unusual site. Over the years New Jersey has eliminated nearly all of the circles on the its roads. So it was very surprising to see that in this day and age they have actually elminated a traffic light and in its place created a circle. Bizarre is the word that comes to mind. I would have loved to have been at the planning board meeting for that one.

Click here to see a map of the modern roundabout and how to maneuver through it.

After further research it seems that this new smaller circle is popping up in many states where traffic control is needed.  Amazing.  See some here.


Which is correct?

I was in the truck this morning and a promotion came on the radio having to do with the Yankees. Normally, and for obvious reasons, I would simply not listen, but something caught my attention. The question arose in my mind as to which is correct. Is it "I am a Yankee hater" or is it "I am a Yankees hater"? Of course I only use Yankees because it was a Yankees commercial. I could have used Brave/Braves, or Philly/Phillies, of Patriot/Patriots. It is just an example. But am I a Met fan, or a Mets fan? If I am a Met fan then one would ask, "which Met are you a fan of?". And despite ending that sentence in a preposition, it seems to bear out that Mets fan would be correct. But then a followup question would be the correctness of that without the possessive apostrophe. It would be Mets' fan. Or would it. In summary, putting together the conclusions I have come to in this short but enlightening post, I am a Mets' fan, and I am a Yankees' hater. BUT, I am also a Yankee hater. Which would lead one to ask the question, "which Yankee?". And that would be obvious, wouldn't it? Of course it would be really obvious if Mr. Steroid were still an active player, but without him it leaves only ARod. So, there you have it. I hope everyone has learned something from reading this post.